The Morning After
The morning after the turn of a decade for me. As they say in life, the big 4-0.Sadness is seductive, almost sexy. We drape it over us like a blanket in the dead of winter nights, pulling it under our chins, wrapping our feet from the bottom so a toe doesn't wiggle out.But happy?But joy?That's like grasping for straws. Or wind. We try to grab it, and let it go at the reckoning of a snatcher, a circumstance that would care to rob us blind. How easily do we let it flee. We hardly fight for it. Like a lover about to leave the midnight train, and we have one chance to convince them to stay. We let them board. We listen to the whistle blow. Cement blocks stick our feet in. We standby on the platform of life, watching the train pass us by.Nehemiah said, as they were rebuilding the Jerusalem ruins, "Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength" (8:10).Happy-joy? That's a choice.Do you know what else? It is proven that sadness, despondency, and depression lead to lethargy, a slowed heart rate, and even suicidal ideation. Yet, joy and happy actually fuse in us strength, clarity, energy, and an actual release of endorphins in our brains. Not unintentional by the Maker.So in this new year of life, just as the image above depicts, even when some things are still upside down, I choose happy. I choose joy.The visit to this pop-up interactive experience was more than a born day escapade for me.It was a culture setter for me, that at the turn of a new year, I will choose happy, choose joy; and that when the thief comes to try to yank it back, I will fight for it this time. And I will not relent.Please choose happy, please choose the joy infused strength that only comes from the Lord.I will not develop amnesia this year. I will remember His goodness, count and preserve each blessing bestowed and undeserved.Damn it, I will be free. I will be 40 and free of the things I cannot change, so I might as well learn and grow and finish up the development process that was intended to teach me and not break me.They left.He died.Shots fired.It was broken.Stepping away from the war zone, I hear a helicopter, someone circling over my head.I see you Omnipresent. I take it You never left.I have children to pastor.I have students to teach.I have a marriage to nourish.I have a world to travel.I have a destiny to birth.The morning after. On the dawn of my 16th wedding anniversary...I choose happy. I choose joy no matter the turn because my joy will not come from a person or happenstance anymore. It will come from the Source.This transition of thought will not be easy or seamless, but will be worth every wince or sting.He always whispers in my heart valves, "Tell them I AM sent you."Indeed I will.