teacher trauma: I still wanta talk about it!

In light of Teacher Appreciation Week and Mental Health Awareness Month 2024, as I sit here in my morning meditations, this intersection of events have arrested me. Teacher Trauma has turned into a clarion call for me, and for those who follow my work, this should be no surprise.

The research is clear:

• Teachers of Color experience higher levels of trauma in comparison to their counterparts
• Teachers in high needs areas are almost always under-resourced and underrepresented, and thus causing higher levels of stress, anxiety, and trauma
• Teachers of Color often face similar barriers as do their students of color as it relates to opportunity, resources, support, and respect
• School Shootings still plague the US school building, creating an ongoing wave of panic and disdain
• Urban Educators in gang-infested, high crime, high poverty areas still feel unseen, forgotten, and expected to stay in toxic and harmful environments to their mental state and heart space without much intervention or remediation

I can testify, and I have lived in the epi-center of each of these bullet points that have turned into BULLET holes in my imaginary bullet proof vest I wear to stay on the frontlines.

So I'm on mission-STILL. I'm on mission to over share and tell with candidness the lived experiences of living with PTSD and anxiety as a Woman-Urban Educator-of Color.

We talk a lot about trauma-informed practices for students. I'm team kids all day. Yet, we need to continue to shift our focus to the educator who is in front of our nation's kids every single day! Teacher-trauma informed practices is what's urgent right now. Full stop!

I've been on a national tour speaking and sharing, preaching and teaching in a lot of different venues around the country. What keeps surfacing and what folks are giving me the mic for has turned into my signature message: From Trauma to Transformation, This is Our Call to Action. It's evolving into a bit of a manuscript, more on that to come.

It all circles back to that moment for me in 2012 in a Catholic Church parking lot in Chicago. Losing my first student to gang violence, I looked his mom in the eyes and said I'd do something in the name of her son about this---and you know I haven't broken my promise.

From Chicago teacher to in my community teacher, the fight and plight goes deeper into Urban Education for me.

Teachers still need so much care. I know we joke about what we get for teacher appreciation week, but it still falls short with what teachers taking on our nation's tough assignments truly require. How about more robust mental health services, scholarship opportunities and provided resources? How about holding space for the educator instead of gaslighting, overlooking, and under-servicing? Let me remind the harm that this is causing, and the contribution that it's providing to our teacher turn over, burnout and a still underrepresented teacher workforce.

More organizations, districts, and school leaders need to prioritize teacher trauma services, care, support, and healing. Teachers need both healing and liberation so they can ebb and flow in their genius, function in their authentic selves, and feel provided for and remembered. We are not heroes, magicians, or martyrs. We are human, bleed when cut, and feel when burdened.

The state of education relies on the mental wellness of our educators, but how can this be if trauma still rattles our insides, scarcity and lack still swallow our possibilities, and systemic racism and oppression remain pressed on the necks of many? I cannot stay quiet, complicit, or subdued. People, we got a 911 situation, and I'm making the call.

Returning back to the classroom after a leave of absence for the sake of advocacy and justice work, surviving out here as a WOC and Urban Educator has met similar barriers, obstacles, and challenges.

My only solace and healing balm have been my affinity spaces and national networks, along with some likeminded fellow disruptors that have given me the mic, water to drink, food to eat, and a ride home from the side of the road this entire year. Without them, I'm not sure where I'd be.

Resisting the urge to shrink and water down my version of the story, I stand tall right now. I'm embracing the light brown skin I'm in, the explosive storytelling and unyielding passion in my delivery, and will gladly distribute my energy that is a vibe, audacious, honest, and infectious.

I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! I DON'T CARE HOW I LOOK OR HOW IT COMES OUT ANYMORE. NOT WHEN KIDS ARE SHAFTED BASED ON ZIPCODE, TEACHERS OF COLOR REMAIN BLEEDING OUT AND PROVIDED NEXT TO NOTHING TO PERFORM MIRACLES, AND THE RESIDUAL TRAUMA THAT WE HAVE TO ABSORB LESS WE ADVOCATE FOR OURSELVES AND THRUST INTO EXISTENCE OUR OWN PERSONAL TRIAGE!

Yet, I look within, I look without, I look ahead...my faith, my God, and my ancestors still shake me down with radical hope.

As a carrier of this message, I know I have a great responsibility and I'm here for it. I will continue to tell the stories, the lived experiences, the damn truth in the name of the One who sent me and in the face of all odds!

I'm truly here for the kids, but I'm also here for me too. I have to be. I have to put my oxygen mask on first, and this isn't selfish. Continue to use your sphere of influence to help us, support us----SEE US! I'm gonna keep putting a demand on you. Too much has been lost, too much at stake, and too much to lose.

There is still a chance, a sliver of redemption, and a cascade of liberating outcomes that can benefit us ALL. That's why I'M still here. Though sometimes crawling on all four's, I move in forward motion, pausing when I need to.

Teacher Trauma---I still wanta talk about it...

Mrs. G.