Gracias
Day of thanks 2017. What does it truly mean to be thankful? Better question. Why is it so hard to live from that posture everyday?Addicted to medical shows. Must be for the rush, the crisis, the team that runs in and applies pressure, opens up the lungs, intubates, and starts compressions. Perhaps it's because I'm reminded of the fragility of life and how in seconds, trajectories can change before you finish reading this sentence.The greatest way for me to really feel the spirit of thanks is to remember the times when I was without, at a loss, or void of something. Next, I recall God's loving hand replacing what I lost, or at best, putting His hand over my open wound to stop the bleed. From that place of dark vulnerability, gratitude emerges.Today, just remember, if you could read this, you have sight. If you look down with that same vision and see your chest rising up and down as your cavity fills with oxygen, your airways are clear, and my God that should inspire tears of thanks.My journal is riddled with acknowledged mercy towards my most prized possessions: my living parents, my husband, my children, my classroom, my calling, my true friends, my family, and wise counsel that still begets me.I'm humbled by my working organs, for when I'm sick, it sobers me and preaches this sermon of, "do not take for granted when you're able bodied and well functioning," message where each time, between the tissues, urgent care visits, inhalers, and antibiotics I whisper, "amen."And last but not least, the scars. I dare to believe we are to be grateful for any psychological and emotional scar that life has afforded us. Bow and accept the mire, the muck, the crap that you pressed through to come up for air and survive that thang, less it pull you underneath your potential and destiny forever.Graze your finger over that grayish-white puff of skin. Go ahead, go to it in your mind's eye. That place that still causes you to wince. That sad place in your journey that still takes your breath away. That experience that still leaves you wondering, "How did that happen?" Recently heard and uplifting message by Steven Furtick that demanded the notion that it HAD to happen. That points to redemption of something that is coming soon. Smile. At least you didn't almost die for nothing. God redeems death-like scenarios and does heart transplants. All is recyclable, and for that, Glory to God, I give thanks.
Working on saying what I think and feel in the moment if it's advantageous for all parties. I'm working on being the best version of myself, and realizing when I'm missing the mark. Working on being less tense, anxious, moody, and hopeless.I'm working on my unbelief. I'm still visiting ABBA every morning like I have been for the last 13 years, still believing if I just hang onto the vine, I won't be cut off. If I just keep coming, the next phase shall be revealed and His Word will affirm me in the presence of the masses.I'm working on not assuming with shots fired.Still focused on my health and finding outlets that are good for me, and not to my demise.Because I get to do this, that...that opportunity is what I'm most grateful for.Death has not won in every sense.Whoosh.We are ALIVE."Enter...with thanksgiving..."-Psalms 100:4Gracias...